Tuesday, December 30, 2008

C'mon... Just a Peek?

I stumbled upon an ex's blog that mentioned my name the other day. Anyone with a healthy obsession with themselves googles their own name right? Well I do. I don't do it enough to warrant to much of a concern but I do it enough to make me kinda embarrassed about it. Its not Like I'm looking up Mike, or Joe or Muhammad though. There are like ten Dugaldo's out there and I am one of them. I'm curious about the other ones too but really mostly myself.

Just the same the search often results in re-runs of the same links. I have a namesake in Daly City CA who's sister I once passed a latte to in a San Bruno Starbucks. There's some punk kid in Carson or Torrance or some other God awful pavement shit hole (uhh... no offense?); well he shares my name as well, we exchanged myspace messages a few times but never bothered to friend request each other. There are some doctor/lawyer types in South America don't really understand the jargon. And that's usually it, I don't find much more than that. But the other day I found two new mentions that had me sitting up straight in my desk chair and my eyes glowing in the light of the computer screen.

The first was a copy of Where The Trade Wind Blows:West Indian Tales by a Mrs. Schuyler Crowninshield in full text! Yeah I'm not familiar either but it looks like my name makes a cameo as that of a bartender. Not to far off.

The second find was the afformentioned blog written by the afformentioned ex (which isn't all that accurate a title). The reason I'm writing about it is quite honestly to keep my ass busy. I haven't read it. Yet. But I don't want to. The Dugaldo of the past would have devoured that blog quicker than it would take for the link to come up. But there's a major part of me now, that has laid dead in response to this nice little apple of a find. I think I'm happy with my life for a second, though the eeriness of actually typing that out tingles cold in my spine. I'm not really up for messing with my emotions or anyone else's right now. Maybe later. But right now I just wanna chill with my wonderful boyfriend, and our new cool little kitty Mac, catch up with all of our imaginary friends and eat a little bit to much but be ok with it because we say we are going to the gym tomorrow. I like that.

And for the time being its going to remain like that. But I know curiosity will bat his eyes at me again...

and it has... 

So last night after I left this blog unfinished, I got a text message from Xinthia, who knows that chisme is best served among friends. She simply informed me that she ran into said ex and that she thinks he's still mad at me. Ok really by now I would have refreshed that blog like sixty-three times, my legs shaking from holding in the three cups of coffee I downed, reading and re-reading every nuance and un-posted detail. But not today. Really, I feel I can honestly say without hesitation or doubt, that I think I just may pass this time. For a little while.


  1. Don't do it Doug. It's like masturbating to people's Myspace, once you do it there's no turning back.

  2. Yano, curiosity killed the cat. You're not trying to kill little Mac daddy right? Hmm. Thought so!!